The Road Not Taken

I just need to vent.

I think I’m falling for someone. I think I’m falling for them hard. And, you see, I don’t think I’ve ever fallen in love with someone. He’s in only one of my classes, but he sits next to me, and whenever we talk to each other, all I can think about is how I want us to know each other better. And when we’re apart? I can only think about those 90 minutes I get to spend every other day with him. 

He has gorgeous eyes. I guess that’s the one thing I notice about a guy. They’re kinda like a blue-ish green? I think I could stare at them forever. And he has these cute little freckles all over his face. I can imagine him right at this second, helping me through a math problem I didn’t understand, or me helping him graph functions he doesn’t understand. He’s smart. Like, insanely smart. And amazingly funny. Simply imagining his smile could cheer up any bad mood I’m in. 

He doesn’t really know I like him, if that’s what I’m feeling. He just seems to think we sit next to each other in math class, and that I’m the teacher’s daughter who can’t keep her mouth shut. He doesn’t seem to see me the way I see him, at all.

What do I do? I don’t want to ruin the once of friendship we have by telling him what I think I’m feeling. I don’t want to get hurt, because I’ve been hurt before. But I am becoming terribly impatient with myself. He’s on my mind all the time, and I can’t shake it. I don’t want to! I love the feeling of being around him, I love the way corrects other people, I love the way he cracks a joke at the stupidest things, I love the way I am around him. 

I keep telling myself that life is too short, and that I should go for it. I keep telling myself that he will take a chance on me, even though I honestly have no idea what he thinks of me. But something keeps stopping me in my tracks whenever I get the chance. 

thanks for reading this through, I’m grateful for that. I guess I just needed to vent.